I’m Not Interested in Sex — What Should I Consider?

Understanding Low Sexual Interest

Q: Is it common to lack motivation for sexual activity?

It's perfectly normal to feel disinterested in sex. Numerous factors contribute to this, and it's essential to acknowledge that individual experiences differ significantly. Some may consistently have low libido, while others may notice a sudden change in their sexual desires.

Possible Reasons for Low Libido

Here are several factors that might contribute to a reduced interest in sexual activity:

• Insufficient knowledge about healthy sexual practices
• Negative past experiences or misconceptions about sex
• Unresolved issues in romantic relationships
• Untreated physical or mental health challenges, such as depression
• Changes in medication or side effects from current prescriptions
• Stressful life events or fluctuating hormones

Exploring Your Sexual Orientation

Remember that sexuality exists on a spectrum. It's natural for your preferences to evolve over time. Some individuals may have experienced sexual attraction in the past and find themselves feeling differently now, while others might have always had low or no attraction.

Assessing Situational Factors

Sexual health encompasses various dimensions. Any physical or emotional discomfort can impact your ability to connect with your sexual needs. Situations such as dealing with major life changes or even societal challenges can significantly affect libido.

Addressing Past Discomforts

If you've faced unsatisfactory sexual experiences, it's crucial to reflect on what might be hindering your sexual enjoyment. Consider the following questions:

• Are you experiencing any painful sensations during sexual activity?
• Do you have difficulty maintaining an erection or dealing with vaginal dryness?
• Are there unresolved tensions or issues in your relationship?
• Do you feel overwhelmed with work or personal responsibilities?
• Are you managing the demands of parenting or caregiving?
• Are financial stresses impacting your quality of life?
• Are you feeling anxious about current global events?

Each of these considerations can substantially affect your sexual health and desire.

Enhancing Sexual Enjoyment

If you wish to rekindle your interest in sex or simply enhance pleasure during sexual experiences, taking proactive steps is vital. Here are some strategies:

1. Clarify Your Desires: Spend some time journaling your perspectives on sexual health and what you'd like to experience. This reflection can provide clarity.
2. Communicate Openly: Let go of specific expectations regarding sex. Focus on what brings you pleasure, and consider sharing these insights with your partner.
3. Practice Sensate Focus: Start with solo exploration to enhance bodily awareness. Identify types of contact that feel pleasurable to you.
4. Engage with Your Partner: Try practicing sensate focus together. This activity fosters intimacy and enhances understanding of each other’s preferences.
5. Explore Solo Pleasure: Regularly engaging in self-pleasure can assist you in understanding your body better and reigniting your sexual desire.

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About Dr. Janet Brito

Dr. Janet Brito is a nationally recognized Latinx sex therapist, trainer, and speaker. She is the founder of the Hawaii Center for Sexual and Relationship Health, specializing in sex therapy, relationship issues, and support for gender-diverse populations. Dr. Brito also developed The Sexual Health School, an educational platform for healthcare professionals interested in human sexuality training.

Education and Certifications

• B.S. from Loyola University Chicago
• M.S. from Columbia University
• Ph.D. from Pacifica Graduate Institute

Professional Memberships

• Licensed Clinical Psychologist
• Licensed Clinical Social Worker
• AASECT Certified Sex Supervisor
• AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

Notable Publications

• A Phenomenological Analysis of Infertility in Mexican Women Living in the U.S. — Interamerican Journal of Psychology (2018)

Professional Affiliations

• American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT)
• Hawaii Psychological Association (HPA)
• International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT)
• National Latinx Psychological Association (NLPA)